I'm really pleased that top new York wedding planner Xochitl Gonzalez from Always a Bridesmaid was able to take the time to answer a few questions for today's Q&A. Some readers will also know Xochitl from her fab blog Always a Blogsmaid too - check it out for advice and tips. Here, Xochitl tells us what it's really like to be a wedding planner - and it isn't like the movies! - what colour schemes will be hot this year, where it's OK to cut costs and where it's not...
The life of a wedding planner has been depicted in a lot of movies as all glamour and not a lot of work. What's it really like?
We laugh about how different it is from movies all the time! It's SO much work! First, you are always working on many different weddings, which aren't only different in terms of their logistics such as locations and vendors etc but they all have different people and different emotions involved. Secondly, your job is therapy as much as it is planning. You have couples issues, and parent issues and money issues all happening at once. And then there are the wedding days themselves. Our average wedding day is 12 to 15 hours depending on the circumstances. It's so rewarding, but it's also high stress to have this huge and wonderful day in your hands!
How does your role as a wedding coach complement that of a wedding planner?
We offer "wedding coaching" to brides who don't necessarily need or want a full-service planner. For Always a Bridesmaid, this has made us much better wedding planners, because being a wedding coach exposes me to lots of different types of weddings, brides and ideas that in turn make me more creative as a wedding planner in terms of finding solutions for problems, coming up with creative ideas and more. It allows me to meet new vendors that I might not have worked with otherwise, and that's important. But also, it's easy to fall into the routine of planning all of your clients' weddings the same way - just changing the color scheme and flowers - but being a wedding coach exposes me to so many unique brides and grooms that I am constantly reminded that each couple is really like a snowflake!
What have been the most memorable moments at a wedding you've planned?
Oh my, there have been so many! I think generally, they are moments when couples defy convention - we had a bride enter into the room to "Across the Universe" and it gave me chills. It was their favorite song and sounded so dreamy. We had a bride dance with her mother, because her father had passed away but she still wanted to have a "Parent dance". We had a couple who had eloped in Vegas prior to the reception hire an Elvis to surprise the guests during the reception! The most memorable moments tend to be the personal moments where the couple is really reflecting themselves more than some predetermined rule.
Do you have to have a large budget to afford a wedding planner or is it a service everyone can afford?
With the cost of weddings today, I think at a minimum, 'day-of coordination' should be a must-have for everyone at any budget. Whether you spend 20K or 200K, a day-of coordinator will ensure that your planning goes according to plan and is like an insurance policy in some way. That said, full service planning isn't for every budget, the price tags for someone experienced can be hefty. My firm offers hourly consulting, or coaching, which enables brides on more limited budgets to engage the help of a planner. It isn't quite the same as a full service planner calling the shots, but often an investment in a few hours with a planner can result in smarter wedding spending all around!
What are the perks of engaging a planner?
There are a lot of perks! First, there are the savings. Sometimes couples will ask me if I negotiate prices for them. I do, but what they should know is that I automatically get much better pricing than someone off of the street would. Our company works in full, or in part, on nearly 40 weddings per year- it enables us to command the best pricing around!
But beyond pricing, a planner can help with etiquette and can act as a go between for brides and grooms and stress inducing parents, siblings, guests and more. We have some emotional distance from the more intimate levels of stress and make a good scape goat for brides. Also, a planner really takes away the stress of worrying about the details and often that enables the brides and grooms to get more creative with the more personal aspects of their planning!
Have you ever had to 'save the day'? What happened?
I think we've 'Saved the Day' a few times, or so I'd like to think! Early on, when doing day of co-ordination we had flowers not be delivered and had to create extra centerpieces. We had a cake topple over... and had to find a new one! More than a couple of times a groom or a best man has forgotten, ripped, torn, or busted out of a tuxedo just prior to the wedding! My favorite 'Save the Day' was when the plumbing at a reception facility busted the morning of the wedding and we had to find a port-o-potty within hours of the reception!
What wedding trends are going to be hot for 2009?
Grey, Grey, Grey as a color - it's going to be paired with peach, with yellow, with navy and more, all year long! Mirrors on tables are going to be big look this year. Everyone seems to want them and they go a long way in illuminating a space by doubling your candlelight. Damask and patterns in black and white or navy and white will be big this year.
Less from a decor stand point, I think we're going to see smaller guest counts and more cocktail style receptions as couples re-think what they "need" to do in order to have a great wedding reception. I'm seeing a lot more outdoor ceremonies and, across the board, I'm seeing smaller and smaller wedding parties!
Despite the financial climate, I'm seeing more and more couples seek out letterpress stationary as a way of personalizing their wedding.
With the current financial climate, some couples are going to think about cutting costs. What is OK to cut back on and what isn't?
I think it's OK to cut back on guest count as long as you can be uniform about it. You can't not invite cousins except for your favorite cousin Lizzy. I think it's OK to scale back on offering a lot of selection for food and beverage at the reception. As long as you have a meat and a veggie option and wine and beer, your guests will have a fine time. I also think it's fine to have flat print or digital printed invitations as a way to save.
I DO not think it's OK to send digital invitations. A wedding is not the same as a housewarming or a dinner party and it deserves a formalized piece of stationary to commemorate it. I also do not think it's OK to have a cash bar. You are hosting an event in every way, scale back on what you offer before you make things awkward for your guests. Graciousness will make all the difference in the success of your day!
Do you have a vendor who is a bit of a secret but you think everyone should know about them? Who are they and what do they do?
I do! I have a few that I loathe to really put out there, but my favorite DJ is my secret weapon. His name is Jimmy JVC and he's amazing! He knows so much about music and has learned everything from Bhangra to Bossa Nova to make things special for my clients. My other secret weapon is my favorite make up artist, Luis from Chanel. He is based at Bloomingdale's and his make up in miraculous.
Thank you, Xochitl!
More Q&A interviews with the industry professionals coming up!
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